Concepts by Michelle

The much-anticipated presidential debate last week began with a cautiously confident Kamala Harris, as she strode across the stage, extended her hand and introduced herself to Donald Trump. He shook her hand and said, “Nice to see you. Have fun.” And she sure did.

The deck of cards was stacked against Trump before the debate even started as the mainstream network’s guest commentators were negating him in their preliminary shows. Republican, Jim Durkin, former Minority Leader of the Illinois House of Representatives, was on Fox Chicago. He was already known to be anti-Trump and was about as effective as having Liz Cheney on panel to represent the Republicans.

Key Issues

When several direct questions were asked that should have been a yes or no response with examples, both candidates went into tangents. This is not uncommon. However, a top issue is the economy and cost of living.

When Harris was asked if Americans are better off than they were four years ago, she went into a long spiel about her upbringing. Her background story was interesting at the Democratic National Convention, as the audience didn’t know much about her, but not appropriate for this question. 

An odd comment by Harris was that Trump has no economic plan. After watching several speeches by Trump, his plans have been repeated over and over. He’s indeed an open book if anyone cares to pick it up and read it.

Several traps were laid out for Trump that he surprisingly fell into. The debate wasn’t even halfway over when Harris claimed people left his rallies early because of boredom. He has previously stated he often talks for over an hour because attendees have waited a long time and traveled far for the event.

Trump often has a guest speaker. A recent one was a Venezuelan man who migrated to the U.S. telling his family’s story. The concise message was presented in both English and Spanish, which endeared the audience. Although Harris’ claim was false, Trump’s tone went downward from there.

Immigration was another key issue. There was a bill that would have put 1,500 more agents on the border. Harris claimed Trump “got on the phone, called up some folks in Congress, and said, ‘kill the bill.’” The bill actually failed because “Many Senate Democrats didn’t support it and their campaigns began distancing themselves from Biden-Harris border policies, which the majority of Americans oppose,” according to The Center Square (media).

The abortion issue needed more clarification as Trump stated former Democrat Gov. Ralph S. Northam, West Virginia (actually Virginia), allowed abortions into the ninth month of gestation and even after birth. In 2019, a bill was presented that “loosened” Virginia abortion restrictions.

A comment was made in a committee hearing regarding a woman being permitted to undergo an abortion while in labor.  Northam, also a physician, explained that third-trimester abortions are done in cases where there may be severe deformities. “If a mother is in labor, the infant would “be delivered and kept comfortable,” as reported by Fox News.

Other Doozies Needing Clarification

Harris repeated a false claim by Joe Biden that Trump said there’d be a bloodbath if he lost the election. This comment was actually stated over the potential loss of U.S. auto manufacturing jobs to foreign countries, resulting in an economic bloodbath. “President Biden’s campaign quickly accused Trump of fomenting “political violence,’” according to FactCheck.org.

Trump did indeed invite Taliban leaders to Camp David to negotiate the peaceful withdrawal of U.S. forces from Afghanistan and end America’s longest war. He wanted to “look them in the eye,” get commitments and then put in place a verification regime, said former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. “Lots of bad folks have come through that place [Camp David].” Trump cancelled the meeting after an attack in Kabul killed 12 people including a U.S. soldier.

In CNN’s recent interview, when asked about her changing positions on several issues, Harris said, “The most important and most significant aspect of my policy perspective and decisions is my values have not changed.”

Trump claimed Harris supported spending taxpayer dollars on gender reassignment surgeries for prison inmates. She indeed supported this in response to a questionnaire from the American Civil Liberties Union during her 2020 presidential campaign. Additionally, taxpayer dollars were also to be used for “decriminalizing drugs and ending (ICE) detainers for illegal immigrants accused of crimes,” as reported by the New York Post.

Although Harris did not donate money directly to the nonprofit, Minnesota Freedom Fund, that pays for criminal bail and immigration bonds, she encouraged her supporters to donate to the fund to free protesters in the George Floyd riots, according to Snopes Factchecker.

Unprofessional Behavior

Clearly, there are many fact checkers and it’s always good for viewers to do their own. However, it’s certainly not the job of a debate moderator to debunk a statement during the actual debate. The role of a moderator is keeping everyone on time and the candidates on track. They are “not a referee, not a player,” said Professor and Political Journalist Doyle McManus. Moderators don’t “challenge what the candidate is saying — that is the job of the other candidate.” 

It was quite obvious that ABC News moderators pounced on only one candidate. Once again Harris was propped up by others during her major appearances on favorable networks. Her debate appearance with the incredulous look on her face is reminiscent of Biden’s modus operandi, but she added resting her head on her chin in a condescending manner.

Interestingly, Conservative men and women had differing views on Trump’s performance. Men had a more positive impression whereas some women felt he had his fanny handed to him on a bronze platter. After all the analyses, maybe Trump didn’t take himself out given there was another assassination attempt.

Courtesy and respect would seem to be common sense whether dealing with people directly or indirectly, as on social media. In the latter, it’s likely that writing behind a screen filters the ability to have compassion and respect for readers. Regarding politics, consider if you would say the same thing in person or let it go.

Many social media users wisely avoid politics in their personal posts. Others may only have their own profile page to express themselves. It’s not a subject I bring up in person unless I know someone is an ally. However, it’s an interesting subject to write about.

Personal Profile

Everyone gets their own profile page to represent themselves however they want except for threats, hate speech and graphic violence, according to Facebook rules. However, there are other considerations.   

On the positive side, it’s possible to educate by raising awareness about issues and including credible sources of this information. Without a credible source, misinformation is often easily spread leading to negativity and polarization. It helps to balance political posts with positive or other innocent content.

I stopped scrolling the newsfeed about springtime when malevolent memes were surfacing. Memes are usually creative, clever, endearing or funny including political ones. Unfortunately, there are derogatory ones and they’ve all come from one side. There’s obviously no regard for those on the other side. My only reasoning for this is by nature, Liberals are more open and unguarded while Conservatives are more cautious and discreet.

There were a couple posts I felt like responding to but thought twice. If I respond opposing someone else’s view on their OWN timeline, there could be a backlash. Not only from the original poster but from their friends who may jump in escalating trouble. In other words, mind your own business. However, it becomes my business when it shows up in my feed. A good way to counter this is to unfollow this friend, at least until the political season is over.

An important takeaway from national etiquette expert, Diane Gottsman, is “Political shaming can be disruptive, destructive and ultimately ineffective when splashing your views all over your timeline. It has the potential to leave a lasting impression long after the president has been sworn in and life has returned to business as usual.”

More About Memes

Memes are derived from the Greek word “mimeme,” as in “imitated thing” − malleable and intangible, states Psychology Today. That in itself is telling. One doozy I saw claimed that a certain candidate was going to cut social security and it actually said “fact checked” with a check mark, as if that makes it official. This fear-mongering toward senior citizens comes up in every presidential election cycle against the Conservative candidate.

According to factcheck.org, Donald Trump spoke of “cutting waste and fraud in those programs – not benefits.” However, Joe Biden posted on social media and said in speeches that Trump “wants to cut Social Security and Medicare.” Words can easily be manipulated but who is actually going to look this up? A downside with social media is the impulsiveness that doesn’t lend itself well to critical thinking.

Groups & Friends

Most Facebook groups have a rule warning against politics but there’s always some who have to slip in a wisecrack. Oftentimes the Admin doesn’t see it but others do. While it’s common courtesy to scroll past a disagreeable post in a personal feed, it should be reported in groups. Groups are often a safe haven but politics can easily ruin the setting.  

Some groups have led to friends but also friend requests from THEIR friends (strangers). It’s important to check profiles either way. One request I saw had lots of posts of Asian people smiling, shaking hands and embracing. It may have involved an Eastern religion with a very peaceful and kumbaya impression as I continued to scroll downward.

And then. There it was. The head of Adolf Hitler surfaced with a mean face. The words read “Evil doesn’t die… it reinvents itself,” with Trump’s head and scowl-face underneath. The post was dated July 13, the day he was shot − posted publicly. Amazing. This person went from kumbaya to promoting hatred within one scroll. 

Social media can be used to benefit everyone involved instead of leaving bad impressions by posting misinformation and other insults. Users posting (politics) multiple times a day could find a more productive way to channel passion or frustration by getting involved with a chosen party. Visit websites to find ways to help locally. Even if homebound, volunteers are needed to make phone calls. The political season is only temporary yet will resurface like other seasons.

“With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may not see.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

At this point, we only have a couple months to go until the BIG election. Unfortunately, the worst in us may have already come out and relationships may be strained. Direct encounters, as well as on social media, can be equally upsetting. Some encounters, like family, are hard to avoid. Courtesy and respect would seem to be common sense. We’ll take a look at some personal direct examples, how they were dealt with, and what one expert says.    

Three Examples of (In-person) Rudeness & Solutions

The first bad encounter was with a neighbor who walks around and was a fan of Joe Biden. He was a Republican who switched camps when Donald Trump won in 2016. One day I was working in the yard, minding my own business, when he came by and dumped a load of anti-Trump dirt on me. He’s done this a few times while he KNEW I preferred Conservatives. It was annoying that he didn’t respect my choice. I never went into an anti-Biden response. Instead, I kept moving along with the gardening.

There were other incidents with this neighbor involving racist rants and telling me horrific dead-animal stories. I reminded him that if he didn’t like black people, he should consider moving. With the dead-animal stories, I tried humor telling him he wasn’t going to attract any chicks if he continued with such stories.

The second encounter was with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. I was fond of him and his family but the subject of politics never came up. We had a rare phone conversation we were barely into, when he went off on a 10-minute rant against Trump.

He said he knocked a man to the ground on a sidewalk who was wearing a MAGA hat. The thing is, this guy is a self-defense trainer. He went on to say he has a friend who physically attacked people if he knew they were pro-Trump. After his rant, he asked me how I felt about the state of the country. This was not the time to ask this. Needless to say, his invitation to come over for a July 4 festival was declined.

In this case, neither of us knew anything about our political preferences and it caught me off guard. It was quite tactless to come on so strong about such a dividing matter. Before dumping a load on someone, try asking open-ended questions, like, what someone thought of the convention (debate, latest news story, etc.), just to gauge their response.

Finally, a recent encounter involved a friend whose family members come over and go into pro-Trump tirades. My friend was a Trump supporter until the riot at the Capitol. He can’t disagree with said relatives or it will fuel the fire. So, he says nothing UNTIL he sees yours truly. I have told him this is disrespectful and I would appreciate the same courtesy he shows his family. It came to the point of temporary isolation when he wouldn’t comply.

Shifting Sides

In this example, there’s a different dynamic. There’s an important bond when folks share the same political ideals. People may watch debates together like a sports event. It’s nice being on the same team. But when one leaves and goes to the opposing team, it’s a loss and even a betrayal. My dad called this a turncoat. This is more serious than a football game.

Let’s imagine the two main political parties having a campground site during the primary season, separated by a bridge. On the right, there were more than 10 candidates with tents set up while the left campsite only had Biden/Harris. One by one, tents were coming down on the right until there was only one left standing. My favorite endorsed Trump and we only had a short walk to his tent.

Moving across the bridge to the opposing camp is certainly allowed. However, to turn around and bash the candidate who won the most votes is not helpful to those who stayed loyal to the camp. It’s like a knife in the back. This example has been the hardest to deal with. At this point, the Democrat party has moved so far to the left, the Republican party seems more in the center.

Other Coping Mechanisms

After moving along with the gardening and using humor with my neighbor didn’t work, avoidance was another option.

In every case, we need to first consider the source. If there’s a history of dumping loads, understanding this helps with acceptance. However, it’s one of the reasons I look out the windows before walking outside. Avoidance seems best here. Unfortunately, the dumper may not realize their ignorance or worse yet, they just don’t care how rude and selfish they are. It’s best that we find this out sooner than later.

Families could agree not to bring up politics or come up with rules. Conflict resolution expert, Majbritt Lyck-Bowen, from “The Conversation,” suggests turning family gatherings into “brave spaces,” where discussion of controversial issues is welcomed and respectful.  She offers five tips –

1. Don’t assume you are right
2. Treat controversy – and each other – with respect
3. Own your intentions
4. Challenge and be challenged
5. Do not insult or threaten each other

Personally, I don’t bring up politics in person unless I know someone is a kindred spirit. There are too many personal values involved. One comment leads to another and conversations often go awry leaving people with bad feelings. Respect matters either way. If you find yourself to be an outcast in your personal circle, perhaps seek support online. However, social media is another story.

July 13 started off with an opportunity to escape to a wildlife adventure with a friend. We went to a restaurant/bar afterward where the TVs were filled with sports.

A man two barstools down received a text about an assassination attempt on Donald Trump. I could hear bits and pieces as he was alerting the bartender to put on the news. We really couldn’t hear a word, as it was loud as hell. We could only see the continuous looping of Trump bleeding, the Secret Service surrounding him, then he’s on the ground, and serious looks from the anchors as they spoke.

Everyone was stunned, including my friend who doesn’t even like Trump. It was a sick feeling and there was a need to get home. It was Saturday and “Father Brown” (an escape to 1950s England with lush landscape) would be on at 7:00 on PBS. Well, no it wasn’t. All networks on my limited Xfinity stopped their regular programming for this historical event. It was surprising that Trump was getting positive attention by the mainstream media.

Remembering the Victims

Corey Comperatore, 50, of Sarver, PA was killed by a single gunshot wound to the head. He was a 10-year veteran of the U.S. Army Reserve and former chief and active member of the Buffalo Volunteer Fire Department. He was married with two daughters, Allyson and Kaylee; and two beloved Dobermans, Ivan and Negan.

Comperatore died shielding his family from gunfire. His obituary read in part “His courage was not the loud, boisterous kind; it was the courage of quiet resilience, the strength to be vulnerable, and the bravery to lead with love.” 125 trees have been planted in Comperatore’s honor.

David Dutch, 57, was standing in the bleachers behind the stage where Trump was speaking when he was shot twice — once in the chest and once in the liver. He arrived at the hospital in critical condition and was placed in a medically induced coma. He underwent multiple surgeries and was discharged 11 days after the shooting.

James Copenhaver, 74, was hospitalized with gunshot wounds to his arm and abdomen. He was released 15 days after the shooting and has a long road to recovery, according to the New York Post.

Days After the Shootings

Just two days later, July 15, the Republican National Convention started. Although not physically there, the atmosphere seemed surreal. It was comforting to many, as the presidential nominee literally dodged a bullet. Late in the first evening, the crowd roared in applause as Trump made an appearance and sat in the audience, as no one was expecting it.

As the week went on, Trump’s daughter-n-law, Lara, spoke of how her kids, Luke, 6, and Carolina, 4, were watching their grandfather speaking on TV. Suddenly, as he was shot, bleeding, and went down, Lara grabbed the remote to change the channel. Hopefully, they were too young to be affected negatively.

There was criticism from some moderators about Donald Trump, Jr. and Gov. Ron DeSantis’s fiery speeches. Moderators spoke of expected unity after the assassination attempt but said they “served red meat.” In Trump, Jr.’s case, he knew how close his father came to death. In DeSantis’s case, he may have thought it could have been him. We all process such ordeals differently.

I wondered if Trump would be able to actually deliver a speech, and he did so in a riveting manner. One of the first things he said was, “I’m not supposed to be here.” Someone yelled, “Yes you are!” Suddenly the crowd broke into a chant, “YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE!” I also wondered whether he had flashbacks, was on anti-anxiety meds, or would need treatment for PTSD.

Reality Sets In

Comperatore’s wife, Helen, was close to celebrating her 29^th wedding anniversary with her childhood sweetheart but planned his funeral instead. She and her daughters have to go forward without him after witnessing his murder.

Both Dutch and Copenhaver have hired attorneys to “protect their best interests as they navigate the most challenging time of their lives,” added the New York Post.

For several weeks afterward, I felt very unsettled with disturbing sleep. Even going for a walk, I didn’t feel safe. I don’t mean safe, as in afraid of the neighborhood. It was a general sense of not feeling safe in the WORLD. The last time I felt this way was after September 11, 2001. In neither incident, I wasn’t even there nor did I see it in real time.

I contacted a friend who is a healthcare professional and told her something was wrong, explaining further symptoms. She reassured me that my feelings are more normal than I realized and some of us take longer than others to mend, as we discussed possible remedies. Writing has always been therapeutic, hence this article, and research revealed my friend was right.

Dealing with Trauma

A wealth of information is available online for immediate reassurance including NBC San Diego News who spoke with Shelby Espiritu, a licensed therapist at Sharp Mesa Vista Hospital in San Diego, CA.

“Feeling safe matters, and when a presidential candidate is attacked, that can shatter everyone’s sense of safety and can be overwhelming. Managing trauma may entail limiting your exposure to whatever is causing anxiety.” She recommends talking to people you trust about your feelings or, conversely, choosing not to talk about it at all to ‘recharge’ your emotional well-being.

Espiritu explained that each of us has a different threshold for the amount of trauma we can deal with. “Some people are heavily impacted emotionally while some others aren’t impacted at all.” She emphasized how we get information so fast through the internet, “it’s not creating a safe space for us.”

During stressful times, it’s especially important to maintain a regular routine and engage in self-care, according to Dr. Zachary Ginder, a psychologist and founder of Pine Siskin Consulting in Riverside, California. This includes regular sleep routines, a healthy diet, exercise, prayer or meditation, and engaging in hobbies, as interviewed by Fox News.

Turning despair into positive action, such as volunteering or supporting organizations that align with your values or shared interests can help restore a sense of purpose and control, Ginder suggested. “While it is perfectly normal to be affected by societal trauma, if the impact begins to affect daily functioning, relationships or mental health, it is ‘highly advisable’ to seek professional help from a licensed clinician,” Ginder said.

Lastly, Trump was correct in his RNC speech that there could have been many more killed had they panicked and ran.

Dr. Marc Siegel, clinical professor of medicine at NYU Langone Medical Center expressed his admiration for Trump’s reaction as the crowd kept its composure. “His courage, strength, good humor and caring for others are traits of a leader, as was his alacrity in hitting the ground and bouncing back up,” he told Fox News. “His positive reaction and courage instead of fear bodes well for quick psychological recovery without PTSD.”

Hopefully, everyone affected will recover and we can go forward without further violence.

President Joe Biden’s biggest responsibility was to convince voters he has the capacity to serve another four years while Donald Trump needed to control his demeanor. Both needed to show Americans who is the better candidate and age is against both of them. Rumors abounded before the debate about how the candidates were preparing, especially Biden.

Biden’s gait has always been a concern but his facial appearance was startling. He looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a wax figure. I thought it was a Botox overdose but cannot confirm, plus too much makeup. Efforts to minimize his age (81) seem to have backfired. Botox can take effect within a few days and “its active ingredient freezes facial muscles to keep you from contracting them,” confirms Healthline.com, which could explain the wild-eyed look and open mouth.

Trump’s appearance looked pretty much the same throughout recent years. While often seen with a scowling face, and not surprisingly, his mouth was very frowned this time. I imagined Trump having an electronic device attached underneath his suit that could deliver shocks from his advisors if he stepped out of line. However, he contained any sarcasm he may have felt toward many of his opponent’s blunders.

Most importantly, cognitive dysfunction has been a concern for Biden’s party and constituency. It’s not something you can hide very well. If he is indeed in early stages of dementia, he could be fine during one presentation, then falter the next. This could explain a difference in Biden’s performance the next day in South Carolina. However, he used a teleprompter at that rally, according to Politico.com. There’s a major difference in reading something compared to formulating a coherent thought and expressing it.

Troubling Signs and Decisions

On February 8 of this year, I was excited to watch an ABC documentary on the Titan submersible’s fatal dive to the Titanic. It was interrupted by Biden giving a speech in defense of a report by a special counsel looking into classified documents in his home. The report stated, “Mr. Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview, as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.” Furthermore, it would be difficult to convince a jury that he was guilty of a felony that “requires a mental state of willfulness,” according to the New York Times.

As Biden was defending his mental state during that speech, he confused the names of the presidents of Mexico and Egypt. I was unclear of what border he was talking about and he was confused about a rosary from his son, as well as what cemetery his son was buried in. He slurred words and didn’t finish sentences. This was surprising but I don’t normally watch Biden’s speeches because of his poor delivery. He often comes across as yelling at the audience. The Republicans had been warning about Biden’s mental state for a long time but I dismissed it as antagonism.

A troubling decision by the Democrats was to not offer any other candidates besides Biden for the 2024 election. They knew his age was already a concern, however, the Democrats are much more unified. (Until recently.) The Republicans offered a slew of candidates. Trump supporters had a close match with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis who shared many of his ideals. DeSantis is only 45-years-old with none of the legal baggage of Trump. And he’s polite. But the People spoke and Trump won the nomination.

The last time Trump won the nomination, much of the American population, as well as some Republicans, rejected him. This could actually be considered a threat to our democracy because the United States is a republic. The two main parties put forth candidates, plus there are a few third parties. They are narrowed down by VOTERS in the primary election. When people reject a candidate that the majority elected, the whole process of our system is undermined. Worse yet, when politicians reject a chosen candidate for their own party, they are no longer representing the choice of the majority of the People they represent.

A case in point was during the 2016 Republican primary. Senators Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio took a beating from Trump in the debates. Voters chose Trump. Both losing candidates later endorsed Trump for the sake of their party. Cruz released a statement to the Texas Tribune, “Last year, I promised to support the Republican nominee. And I intend to keep my word.” Rubio stated, “While I respect that voters chose him as the GOP nominee, I have consistently rejected his offensive rhetoric and behavior. I disagree with him on many things, but I disagree with his opponent [Hillary Clinton] on virtually everything. I wish we had better choices for President,” according to Politico.com.

The Aftermath

Anyway, inflation and immigration were the top two interests of Americans but were overshadowed by Biden’s performance.  Surprisingly, the media actually reported negatively about Biden’s performance sparking talk of a replacement. An indirect message the media won’t admit is that Trump did well in the debate. Everyone knows that everything said will be fact-checked and it’s not realistic to expect a politician to never lie, including by omission or embellishing their own record.

The recent interview with Biden and ABC News anchor, George Stephanopoulos, did not seem to quell the concerns of Democrats despite Biden’s better delivery and appearance. Both Biden and Trump have each had a term. One of the things we need to ask ourselves is if we (and the world) are in a better place now or four years ago?