It had been over eight years since I last visited a Department of Motor Vehicles facility (in Illinois). Apparently, about 2023, the state required appointments to renew driver’s licenses if a test was needed – vision, written, or road. I needed a vision test and thought I could schedule something a week in advance.
To my chagrin, tests were scheduled the same day you called and you had to call or schedule online at 6:30 a.m. An alarm had to be set to get up at this ungodly hour. However, I was able to schedule for 1:00.
The last time I was there I got lost in one of the lines. The facility was set up the same – one big room with different departments sectioned off by ropes. The goal was to try to stay within the proper rope boundaries for the proper department without getting lost.
There was a funny memory of a woman years ago who brought her children to a corn maze around Halloween for fun. As it was getting late in the afternoon, the woman panicked because she couldn’t find her way out and called 911. This made national news as the woman was from an Eastern state.
Anyway, the place was packed and there was a very efficient worker who looked like Željko Ivanek, who played the Chief of Staff on Madam Secretary. He yelled “Anyone disabled or senior citizens move to the front of the line!”
Things were moving along as I showed my paper work and was directed to get my picture taken, then stand in another line for the vision test.
A young woman with two young children was in front of me and were kept occupied by playing games on a tablet. The mother kept giving her son head massages and swirling her daughter’s ponytail around her finger. It was a long wait, so I sat down with a group of people right next to the line.
I had Boy George with me in the form of his first autobiography in my purse and was about to take him out. I asked a woman next to me if she was in line for the vision test. She said no. I was in the wrong line and quickly moved back to the right one.
Suddenly, a man wearing a neon green vest approached looking directly at me and said, “You’re next, move along.” I stepped up and he told me to get back in line. I gave him a “cat-look,” as he was apparently trying to move us all up. The woman in front of me kept leaving about ten feet of distance between herself and the one in front of her.
After passing the vision test, I carefully navigated my way all the way across the room to the cashier. One person was reprimanded for standing in a sitting zone off to the side – “Ma’am, you need to sit down. NOW.”
There were five sections to visit – check-in, picture, vision test, cashier and printout. It took about a half hour to complete and the license should arrive in about 15 days.
Part II: Let’s Do It All Over Again
On August 19, the Secretary of State’s Office mailed the driver’s license, which I never received. Instead, it was returned to the Secretary of State due to “No such mail receptacle.” I called the DMV and would need to go back to the facility and show proof of residency with a utility bill.
I really thought I would only have to verify residency and it’d be done. Upon approaching the check-in counter, a tall man with a commanding presence called me next while still waiting on the woman before me.
I showed him the letter and began explaining what happened when he suddenly interrupted me. He went back to the other woman. Upon quickly reviewing my letter, he told me I needed to go to the post office.
I told him I already explained this to his headquarters. He raised his voice, “MA’AM, YOU NEED TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE!” I retorted, “THEY DON’T HAVE IT!” The Željko Ivanek look-alike must have been off that day.
He then shuffled me along to get my picture taken again. Upon explaining the situation to the clerk, she said no matter what, you still have to get a picture taken every time you return.
After going through the entire process all over again, I was going to be charged $5.00. I protested, showed my receipt and said “I already paid for this!” The clerk at this station went across the whole room and spoke to someone. Thankfully, the fee was waived. The ordeal took about 45 minutes.
Again, thankfully, I received the license the day before my birthday. Sadly, the picture was taken within minutes after being yelled at. The anger I felt clearly showed on my face. As nice as the hair looked, it’s a bad picture.
I’ve had to show it twice since for ID purposes. I warn everyone that it’s a bad picture because I was yelled at shortly before it was taken. I was reassured that it’s just to prove it’s me. If I survive, this will go on for at least eight years.
